Thursday, February 3, 2011

Put your pride down and walk away

I have learned something new this week. You really can't have pride and be sick. I woke up on Tuesday at 3 am and was blessed by hourly trips to the bathroom. "I'll wait for it to pass right through me", I thought, "and...whatevs." Or, it could go on all day and Wednesday too. Hmm...yep, 9 pounds down in 24 hours and I decided I should probably stop trying to be independent and strong and just get some medical attention.

They took my vitals and led me into the room with the chair that has the paper on it. Ugh. I don't know why those chairs rub me the wrong way but I just wanted to postpone sitting on it for as long as I could. I sat on the chair against the wall waiting for the doctor to come in. I had brought one of our kitchen bowls with me that had been a constant companion the last 24 hours. Though it made the people in the waiting room afraid to take their eyes off me for too long-- like my very existence in the same room as them made them sorely uncomfortable. Uh...sorry guys!
The doctor came in, and stethoscoped me (Hmm...that can't be a verb. To stethoscope? haha You understand though). He said, "This is a very pretty shirt but you're gonna need to take it off." Look sir, you don't have to compliment my clothes. We're not on a date. I'll take my shirt off for you. Just fix me.

After poking at my stomach asking me when I felt pain he concluded our visit with, "It could be a lot of things. Why don't we wait til Friday--to see if it's viral-- and if you're still sick we'll run some lab tests on you." Uh...okay, I officially feel like a small rodent. Lab tests? And Friday? Sir, 9 pounds! That's like the weight of a new born infant. I wish you would give me something other than a poke to the stomach.

With papa and brothers far, I realize I'm probably gonna have to ask some guy up here for a blessing. Once again, my pride is not in short supply. I really don't want to have to call a non-relative guy and ask him to drop everything for me. Well, I finally end up caving and asked a guy in my ward. He came over with 2 others and they were wonderful. One is going to be a doctor and after telling him of my very unhelpful trip to the student wellness center this morning, asked me some questions. He was asking all about my vomit and diarrhea which was somehow not even awkward to talk about with these chaps that I'll see on Sunday. Seriously, sickness will wipe the pride, among other things, right out of you.

As much as it is not enjoyable to be sick away from home, my gratitude for my friends has gone way up. I think I've just gotten so used to being able to take care of myself and do things by myself that the idea that I can't do that was completely frustrating. But my dear insistent friends were so helpful and overwhelmingly kind. Soup, Gatorade, yummy bread, popsicles, movies, the guys in my ward even ran to the store to get me pepto, juice, and coke after giving me a blessing. Thoughtful. If I wasn't crying from pain, the fact that so many people were being so wonderful surely did it. The phone calls from my siblings and my mom letting me cry to her a couple of times didn't hurt either. haha

I think a lesson that I was supposed to learn from this is humility. Put the pride and stubborness down and look at how many people love and care for you. It was actually a huge blessing to see that. It's been a wee bit difficult transitioning to life in Blowgan. At times I feel frustrated cause it seems like all of my friends are in Utah Country, or elsewhere...but not as highly concentrated here. But it was nice to have a moment that made me realize that there are a lot of people that care about me enough to help me even when I am inwardly mad at myself about it. haha God is good. I love how any time something comes along that's difficult, there's always something to take away that shows me that that trial wasn't without purpose. There's always something to learn, and usually in one way or another it's God telling me that He loves me and I should be happy. I love that.


  1. "That's a nice shirt. But you're going to have to take it off." Seriously?! I can't believe you don't make this stuff up. What an awkward thing for a doc to say!
    SO glad you had people to help you and that you're now feeling better.

  2. I'm so glad you are feeling better and that you realize that there are people out their that are willing to serve you when needed. Asking is hard but that is the only way people would know that you needed help! Good people are always around when needed. I love you! Mom