Monday, November 11, 2013

Expectations vs. Reality, NYC and dating ridiculousness...

Life has been a whirlwind.  I have lived in Virginia for over a year now.  I can't believe it.  It's gone so fast and has been nothing like I was expecting. haha  I think frequently of the film "500 Days of Summer".  Particularly of the part where the film goes into a split screen comparing JGL's expectations going into an evening with someone he used to date, and the reality of what actually happened.  It amuses me comparing the two versions of my life--expectations and reality.  My life has not been the Rachel McAdams film that I had expected, but has brought a fair amount of hilarity, amazing people, challenging experiences (aka opportunities for growth haha) and lots of learning.
I thought I was going to go back to Africa this summer for work.  I was sooo excited about the idea of leaving my mediocre place of work and get to do something 100% fulfilling again with people I had given part of my heart to. fell through, which was really sad, but allowed for a brilliant thing to happen.  I called my sister and said, "Kim, Africa fell through.  I won't have a boring summer.  Wanna go to NYC with me?"  If you don't know my sister, you should.  She's wonderful in every way.  She agreed to join me in NYC and planning commenced on what was to be the most amazing sisters trip that ever did happen.  The first of many, we've decided.  

We went to a museum which was originally really not our cup of tea.  Just lots of weird art that we were having a hard time appreciating...until we stumbled upon this beauty:

It quite literally took my breath away.  We just stood in front of it for a while in awe.  Van Gogh, you quirky genius.  I love that you took a piece of paper and created something that took my breath away and made me very happy.  It was a beautiful moment.  Just happening upon "Starry Night".  Absurd and beautiful all at the same time.

We went to a broadway called "Lucky Guy" for the simple fact that Tom Hanks was the lead.  He is hilarious to me.  It was so cool to see him in real life.  The broadway was not my favorite of the ones that we saw, but seeing Tom Hanks was super cool.  Kim and I waited afterwards to catch a glimpse of him.  And that's exactly what we got.  But it was perfect.
As a side note, while we were waiting for ol' Tom to come out of the theater, Kim and I got to witness something equally exciting as it was hilarious.  There was a cop that was fiercely attractive and yet I was also scared of him.  haha  I know.   I've never experienced it before.  He made a great cop.  As a crook, I would get scared out of my mind at the sight of this gent coming in my general direction.  He was ripped, had distinguished eyebrows that gave him a stern look and a walk that commanded attention.  Yet despite being intimidating he was also fiercely attractive.  I cannot explain further because I have never before experienced something of the sort.  

Kim and I were standing amongst a huge crowd, flooding the sidewalks, waiting for Tom Hanks to come out of the theater.  They had us all fenced off, leaving the streets clear, and policemen on horseback were constantly shooing passersby out of the street.  The fiercely attractive cop was pacing the area where Kim and I were scrunched...and fenced in.  Kim said she saw the cop talking to others, looking in our general direction, talking about a pick pocket.  They stayed close to where we were standing but tried to act causal.  Kim and I were nervously excited, grabbed our purses a little tighter but were watching the cops and the door of the theater at the same time...not sure which plot line in our lives was more exciting.  After Tom left, there was a bit of a scurry as the cops arrested someone (who had been standing near us in the crowd).  Kim and I were a bit ridiculous as we nonchalantly walked up and down the sidewalk, trying to overhear what the guy was guilty of.  It turns out we didn't really need to be worried about our purses at all.  The guy had been rubbing up against women in the crowd.  haha Yes.  Gross.  And real.  Apparently our ruby jewels were what were actually in danger.  Terrifyingly handsome cop saving us from a pervert on the loose?  Check. haha 
We accomplished so many lovely things on this trip.  We went for a jog through Central Park, played in FAO Schwartz, laughed our way through the NBC store, drooled our way through Little Italy (because of both the italians and culinary successes in that part of town), visited Ground Zero, went to the top of the Empire State Building, did sealings in the temple, meandered Grand Central Station, quoted "Arthur" daily, and had nothing but delicious food...everyday.  She's pretty much my favorite travel companion to date.  We love each other to bits, never run out of things to talk about, laugh all day and love living every moment of our time together from early morning to late at night. We saw Cinderella, Peter and the Star Catcher, Lucky and...Once.  Oh my...can we just talk about Once for a second?

We got to the theater a little late, but we snuck in and sat down in the middle of the cast having a bit of a jam session.  The cast has probably ten people, all singing and playing their own instruments.  Violin, mandolin, guitar, accordion, etc.  Perhaps it's because it taps into a genre of music that I love, but I was swept away from the beginning.  It opens with the main character singing a song all by himself on his guitar.  The song is called "Leave" and holy crap bag...this musical had a hold of me from that song forward.  The music was gorgeous.  The cast was perfect.  And I felt such a connection with the main character and the phase of his life the leading lass gets him out of.  I'm so thankful for music and the capacity it has to inspire.  This broadway was one of the highlights of my trip.  I'm so glad I got to experience it with my sis.
It was hard to say goodbye.  My sister and I didn't dislike each other but nor were we super tight growing up.  I love that we get tighter every year.  She's one of my best friends.  I love our long talks, her constant support, numerous laughs, she's one of my biggest fans and I'm definitely one of hers.  I hate that I took for granted the years that we lived under the same roof.  But love that in spite of the distance, we're very close.  I love her and am glad we were able to share this trip together.  It was perfect in every possible way.

Since New York, I moved with one of the doctors that I work with, to an office in Fairfax.  It's not my dream job or what I hope to be doing for the rest of my life.  But I have a job, I'm financially independent, and my boss loves me.  Counting my blessings.


As far as dating goes, my dear has this last year been a learning experience.  I have learned that I attract a rare breed.  And unfortunately, for some reason, I date them.  haha I would love to compile all of my dating stories one day.  I have some pretty ridiculous stories.  Perhaps I can share them with my kids one day in a book entitled "Gentlemen that made it clear that your father was the one for me".  haha 

I dated a guy for a couple of months that is not a member of the church.  (I attract those a lot for some reason.)  He was really handsome and adored me.  I go to church every sunday with a bunch of guys in ties that just want to be my friend.  So having someone that recognized me as a catch, got my attention, and I felt like I could give him a shot. He, however, worked part time--in a grocery store, took 7 years to finish his associates degree, and two months into our relationship told me that he had lied about his age. haha Yeah, real.  Sometimes I think I'm getting punk'd.  I'm not.  It's just my life.  I sat by him in the car, in disbelief and said, " lied to me about who you were so that I would go out with you?  Right?  You know who else does that?  Sexual predators." haha He didn't think it was as funny as I did.  But I needed to help him understand that people don't do that and it's not okay.  Needless to say, I feel like I shouldn't be dating a man whose drivers license knows more about him than I do.  We broke up, and he continues to happily stock the produce at the neighborhood grocery store.  Good times.

My other favorite is the times when I've had a few dark chocolate skinned gents envision our children together (again, real...unfortunately) and how they'll have blond curly hair.  Cough...I hate to point out the punnett square in the room, but that doesn't make any sense.  We recessive folk don't stand a chance if we don't marry other pasty blonds.  But thank you for amusing me and creeping me out by envisioning the children that you and I will not be having together. haha 

As much as I have wanted to be the girl that gives guys the benefit of the doubt and give guys chances...I feel like I need to be very careful with this.  I realize now that it's good to keep an open mind, but don't waste his or my time if there's nothing there or in "waiting" to see if feelings will develop.  For some reason I've been allowing guys to take me out that have very different goals, contrasting views on religion (which is just non-negotiable to me), contrasting work ethic and greatly differing personalities.  Things I have learned:

  • If I don't want to be seen in public with him, that's a pretty good sign I'm not interested in him.  I should want to be able to say, "I'm with that guy."  If I don't feel that way, it's probably because I'm allowing someone that I view as a friend to date me.  And we should therefore just remain friends.
  • Relationships take work, yes.  But I should be happy.  In hindsight, all of the relationships that I've been in have been exhausting.  I've been tired, stressed out and not happy...probably because I'm forcing myself to stay in a relationship that the guys wants...and am ignoring the fact that I don't want it.  You should be happy. 
  • There is wisdom in going out on planned dates.  
  • Your patriarchal blessing is your friend.  I remember when I got my patriarchal blessing (I was 21), I was kind of disappointed that it didn't give me my future husbands name, where I would meet him and when.  haha I was really disappointed because I thought it was really vague and that he could be anyone.  Alas, in hindsight, if I had paid attention to my patriarchal blessing and the type of man God has promised me I'll marry, I wouldn't have dated any of the men from the past year.  They clearly weren't the right one.  It turns out, there is wisdom in having faith in Gods plan.
So here we are, a year in to my life here in Virginia.  It's been nothing that I had expected.  But I'm thankful for what I have right now.  Thankful for the mistakes that I have learned from and will not be repeating, and thankful for plans for the future.  I'm applying to grad schools in Social Work and Public Health.  I'm excited to further my education and to have a goal to work towards.  I don't like being stagnant.  I'm thankful for "Once" in helping me to understand that I can be "unstuck".  Til next post,