Another installment of loves...

Things that I love are always coming to mind. Little details really. But I like writing them down. Here are some things that I love this week:

• So You Think You Can Dance. I love it. I really do. For some reason the fancy posture partner dances don't tend to be my fav. Is that super unclassy of me? Hope not. But I love the hip-hop and contemporary dances. Visual deliciousness. Love it. Also Mary Murphy's mouth fascinates me. haha
  
• Italian card game night. Scopa. I need to find those cards somewhere.
• Hearing from old friends.
• Ballet flats. I dunno what my deal is but I have never gotten into really high heels. Maybe I think I'm tall? haha I dunno. But I'm convinced that even if I went on a date with Andre the Giant, I'd still pull out some cute ballet flats to go with my outfit and not see anything wrong with it.
• Scarves. Mmm! It might be the only downside of the weather warming up. My neck longs for them!
• Olive oil and Balsamic vinegar on my salads. Holy smokes, how did I only know about ranch before venturing to Europe? It's a duo that did wonders for my tastebuds and salads.
• Guilty pleasure: The Bachelorette. I think that the whole concept of the show is a bit silly and yet it still sucks me in. For some reason I really like JP and am thankful out-of-my-mind that she sent creepy mask boy home.
• Lake Powell. I think Walt Disney got it wrong. While Disneyland is a great place, I think Lake Powell is the happiest place on earth. I love every detail about that place. I love waking up with sore muscles from tubing, sore red skin from too much sun, next to a bunch of darling morning-haired people that I love, to falling asleep on the roof underneath a blanket of stars that are framed by gorgeous red rock cliffs. And I love every moment in between sun up and sun down. Love that place.
• Working out. I love when I can feel the sweat dripping down my face. How gross is that?! I feel completely unlady-like that I enjoy that. I guess it just makes me feel like my workout was awesome that day and my body is telling me so. haha
  

Sent home, reading inspired goods, re-evaluating perspective

Sometimes my work sends me home early. I was scheduled for 5 hours on Tuesday...after an hour and half they sent me home. Today I was scheduled for 5 hours...after two and a half hours they sent me home. I feel like I should do something rowdy and unruly for them to have an actual reason for giving me the boot. Good news is that I have a job interview back in my home town on Monday. I'm hoping for good things because as flattering as a phone job that sends me home early is, it would sure be nice to feel valued somewhere but...maybe that's just me shooting for the stars. haha

I read two BEAUTIFUL talks today. I have to teach the lesson in Relief Society on Sunday. I really like teaching. I do, however, have a bit of a hard time when there is no assigned topic. Yeah, the whole "be inspired to teach exactly what everyone needs" can be a little overwhelming. haha But I feel like I'm on to something. If you need any good reads check these little numbers out "The True Path to Happiness" by Elder Cook and "What Are You Doing Here?" by Elder Groberg. I just love some right nice reflection from time to time.

Somehow in my unexpected free time after work, and after working out with Jillian via DVD, I found myself on a volunteer website dreaming of when I could possibly go to Tanzania and teach english there. I've noticed a problem that I have. I'm a dreamer. I haven't always been. But I am now. It's something that...I hope this doesn't sound awkward but...I love about myself--mostly just because I remember who I was without it. I love looking at the world, myself, and life with possibility. I didn't always do that. But I now have so many things that I'd love to do and accomplish. And helping those darling little kids in Africa are on my list of things that I fantasize about.
The problem with this quality, that has been really helpful for me, is that when I'm not in the midst of one of these big dreams of mine...I tend to feel frustrated and therefore tend to not live in the present. When I am in the midst of them, I am thankful to say that I enjoy every second and don't take them for granted--I know that each day is changing my life and I love it. However, I notice that when I'm not in one of these fabulous dreams of mine, that I live in my future dreams. How nice things will be when...
It's a tricky trap to fall into. So while I do have big dreams and look forward to a lot of future plans that I have, the reality is that...a lot of my previous plans didn't work out because God wanted me to do something different. So maybe I should put a little more effort into loving the crap out of the present. This is where I am today. And as long as I'm in this present situation, I need to find the good in it and do my best. If things change, great. That would be awesome. But if not, I'm still here, and I can still control my reactions to things life throws at me. I can absolutely keep planning and thinking of fabulous things that I want to do, but with the understanding that there are presently great things that I can do, that there are presently good times to be had, and that I can presently love every detail of my life.

Enough ramblings for the night. Laters!

Recent loves...

Things I love today...

• Yogurt covered pretzels. Delicious and I don't feel super unhealthy eating them. Naive of me? I dunno.
• I may or may not have accidentally put hair removal cream on my tooth brush this morning because I mixed up the bottles. Yup. I may have.
  
• When people at the end of my phone calls at work say things like, "It was a real pleasure talking to you." Well I'm glad. My boss doesn't really care if you enjoy talking to me but I do.
• I'm reading "Standing for Something" by Gordon B. Hinckley and his wisdom frequently blows my mind. I kind of want to stay up all night reading it. Pace yourself woman.
• My mom painted my fingernails for me. If you ever want to know if I'm ambidextrous, just ask me to paint my fingernails and everything will become blatantly clear.
• Good scripture study today. I don't know how I ever studied the scriptures before my mission without a grundle of colored pencils on hand. I have color-coordinated what each color means and studying the scriptures is now so much more enlightening and personal to me. Love it.
• I was driving back to Blowsville and on my way out of the canyon I looked up at the mountains and there were a few trees that formed the most lovely silhouettes against the sky. Hmm...it was a pleasant surprise for a girl not jumping for joy about her re-arrival here.
• I actually love that I'm lactose intolerant. Why? Because if I wasn't, I never would have discovered the wonder that is Almond Milk. I kid you not, Vanilla Almond Milk is one of the most delicious things that apparently never came out of a cow. Question: WHERE does almond milk come from? Head scratcher.

Sacrament Meeting Talk...

Singles ward. Sacrament. Poor little male speaking. Check out the high dosages of enlightening that went down:

"My seminary teacher once told us that we should pray for our future spouse. So I just think that's something that we should all be doing. Praying for our future spouse...and that we'll be attracted to each other."

There are a lot of things I can think to pray about for my future spouse but, I must confess that it has never crossed my mind to pray "please bless that my future husband is super dooper hot. And that we can't keep our eyes off each other because of the ridiculous amounts of physical attraction that we'll have for each other." haha I may or may not have laughed a little bit (along with several other people) when this seminary teacher pass-along was bestowed upon us. Made me laugh. Best of times.

Seeing what He sees

My dear friend Jacquel got home from her mission yesterday. We've spent a lot of time together talking about her mission--that was still happening just yesterday--and it has caused me to reflect on mine. What it meant to me and the impact that it will continue to have on my life.

I had a hard time when I first got home when people would ask me, "So how was your mission?". I don't have the dictionary memorized but I can assure you there is no one word answer that would accurately answer that question for you. It was hard, beautiful, fun, heart-breaking, humbling, strengthening, wonderful, etc. Someone once told me that your mission will come with its tailor made challenges for you. I had struggles and saw challenges that I had not forseen happening. But I also learned more about myself, the gospel, and my testimony by the many difficult experiences that taught me so much.

In several things, it wasn't quite what I was expecting. It's kind of like what I was saying many-a-post ago in my "parable of the chef". I thought I knew what I wanted my mission to be and what to expect. But at the end of the day, I can't and won't be anything but grateful for what the Lord gave me. It taught me so much and made me rely on the Lord at a level that never would have been possible if I'd just been granted my mission expectations. How would He ever be able to show me what I'm made of if my mission was challenge free? When I was in the MTC someone asked us if we knew how much God loved us. She said that if we didn't know, we should go back to our rooms that night and ask Him. I remember orginally thinking, "Well sure God loves me. He loves everyone." At the time it was a basic fact--something I'd learned in primary. But I remember specific prayers uttered during my mission when needing to know, once more, of His love and plan for me would be what kept me going. I think at a certain time I felt I had unanswered reasons in my search for purpose behind the situations we were facing. At times it maybe even left a bad taste in my mouth. But I look back and see that God is the one who has a very clear idea of who I am, what I can do, and who I will be.

It is His vision of who I am that I'll be trusting. He knows me the most, is aware of my capabilities, and has the purest vision when it comes to looking at me and seeing who I am. Of all people in my life, I want to see what He sees when He looks at me. Because it doesn't really matter what anyone else sees. His vision is clear. His purposes are there. And only in increasing my trust in Him can I truly take the steps toward sees myself and my potential as He does. I am happy with who I am because God has shown me through both blessings and challenges that I am good. I'm grateful that I see that. I think everyone should see their own goodness. I love love loved my mission. I'm thankful that it wasn't easy. I'm thankful that it pushed my limits. I'm thankful that it taught me how to truly love people. I'm thankful that I have the gospel and was blessed with opportunity to share it. It brought me heart-ache. It brought me joy. It brought me closer to Him. I know it will continue to bless my life and help me to improve as I reflect on what I've learned and live according to the knowledge that I have.

One Year Anniversary.

I cannot believe it. First, that God somehow thought it was a great idea for me to serve a mission. It's not something I had ever planned on doing but I will forever be grateful for His insistence in my need to go. And I can't believe that I've already been home for one year. I remember being in the MTC in the line to get dinner and naturally I'd just ask where the missionaries in front and behind me in line were going on their missions. It didn't take long for me to realize that I should try to change the subject before the get a chance to ask me where I was going. Because they'd usually seem disappointed with where they were serving afterward--which is no good. I'd always try to save it by saying something like, "Oh come on, Wisconsin will be great. There are clearly some great things for you to do there." Which is true. But deep down, I knew from the get go that mine was special. Not only is it (in my super biased opinion) the most beautiful place in the world, but someone there needs me to play a role in bringing them the gospel. That was so cool to think about. Opening my call letter to find the words "Italy Rome Mission" is a moment I will never ever forget. Nothing had ever felt so right.

This post is going to be SOOO long but I figure it's more for me than for anyone else. Here are just some pics of a few highlights: the food, the beautiful places, the funny stories, and the amazing people:
The Food

Italian pizza. Not over-rated.

Oh mamma I can't remember what this is called but the Magnanti fam made it for us and you just eat it off the table. Fun and yummers.

Less appetizing. This is worm cheese. It's technically illegal but missionaries that get shipped to the island just have to try it if they can find it. Yes, worm cheese meaning there are lots of little white live jumping worms all over (and inside) it.

Bread. Pastries. Enough said.

Pandoro. THE item you want members to give you for Christmas. :)

THE PLACES

The Colosseum. I got to serve in Rome two times. Didn't get sick of this place.

Yes please. This is Portovenere. It was like 45 minutes from my home in La Spezia. Picturesque.
The Spanish Steps.

The Roman Forum


Yep yep, Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Trevi Fountain.

Little Town called Vernazza. Just a wee train ride from my apartment in La Spezia. I was in that area for 6 months and thusly went here on P-days many-a-time. But I'm convinced I couldn't get sick of this place if I tried.

THE STORIES

My last area. All my shoes had died by then. I bought this pair for 10 euro--not wanting to spend much. They uh...destroyed my feet. By the end of the night I'd try to do something creative to not have to stand on them...at least while waiting for the bus.

Anziano Graham just coming prepared with food on the metro.

S.lla Dalia and I cleaned out La Spezia's death closet. BAGS of really unattractive, Websters definition of 'frumpy' sister missionary clothes. We had to bring all of it to the church to give to the president. Adventure.

On our way home from the mission our airplane had problems in Paris. After waiting on the plane for a good 4 hours, they announced that we'd have to stay the night in Paris and that they'd fly us out the following day. We called our mission president and he advised we go see the Eiffel Tower while we're there. Are..you...serious!? We are coming home from our missions from Rome Italy, we are having engine problems in Paris, are told we can get a cab (though it was a Mercedes for some reason) to take us to Eiffel Tower, and they took us the Champs Elysees route?! This is a pic of Anziano Heldings mind exploding at the limitless amount of incredible that situation was.

Christmas zone conference skits. We did a parody of the Grinch. Anziano Nielsen wrapped his face in tinsel...to look like the Grinch--uh, hilarious. And somehow Anziano Nancollas is his dog Max...though he has a stricking resemblance to a certain Star Wars character.

Sorella Skabelunds bed was a bust...literally. It was bent in half. We may or may not have stacked a wallop of old video cassettes under her bed so she could sleep flat.

THE PEOPLE--the most beautiful and important part.

My last transfer circle before dying.

S.lla Margheriti-one of the most incredible women that I've actually met in real life. I adore her.

Shane and Mona. They joined us for many-a-lesson and are incredible member missionaries.

S.lla Dalia. One transfer together. But it was an incredible one. We love eachother.

S.lla Bellu taught us how to make bread and homemade pasta. Uh...yes please!

Alessandra and Judy.

The Rome Zone at zone singing.

S.lla Miles. My last comp. I love her.

Joseph! I love love and LOVE this man. And he kinda adored us right back. After every appointment he'd make us stay and eat bananas squished between two crackers. Delish. Funny. Love it caus I sure love him. He's so brilliant but so humble. I always walked away learning something new from him. Incredible man.

Teaching follow-up lessons to Giusella on Sunday. Lovely family of sisters and a great last district.

Ariel.

The sister missionaries of the Rome Mission...well...most of them

I Love Fratello Carli. He is the most darling man. So kind and yet always good for a laugh.

The youth of La spezia. This is pretty much the whole YM/YW group. I admire them an awful lot. They're very strong.

Ariel and Miguel.

Fernanda. Baptized in Rome 3.

I got to see Diana before I went home. She got baptized when I was just a greenie--with my trainer still. She is always happy and I love that about her.

Well I will stop here. These aren't even pics from my whole mission but my computer battery is about to go belly up so I suppose it's time to close. Saro' grata per sempre per la possibilita' di svolgere una missione. Mi ha cambiato tanto. Ha benedetto la mia vita piu' che potrei mai spiegare. Ho conosciuto delle persone meravigliose. La mia testimonianza del vangelo e' stato rafforzato e il mio rapporto con Dio e Gesu' Cristo e' molto piu' forte e personale. So che Dio mi ama e mi vuole benedire. So che la felicita' dipende su quanto uno e' obbediente ai comandamenti. So che le difficolta' nella vita ci dovrebbero portare piu' vicino a Dio--ma e' la nostra scelta. Mi ha mostrato quanto sono forte--hmm...o magari dovrei dire che mi ha mostrato quanto posso fare con la fede e l'aiuto di Dio. Amo quel anno e mezzo della mia vita. Certamente era difficile, ma piu' di tutto era la definizione di bellezza. Ha reso la mia vita bella in un modo che non sarebbe potuto essere se non fosse per quel tempo di servire a tempo pieno.

Details you may or may not have wanted to know...

• I found a job. It's a phone job. Not my number one choice. But it's a paycheck and I'm lucky to be employed in this economy that is a blow up the kilt. Hmm...there is a story behind that saying...Paris. Lots of Scottish men. Moulin Rouge. Long, hilarious story for another day.



• We went to Family Home Evening tonight, though apparently we're just supposed to call it Home Evening now. Hmm. Anyway, we were sanding blocks for kids to play with. I really really love sitting down by strangers and talking to them. I love going home with positive feelings for people that I didn't know existed even hours before.



• I L-O-V-E working out to Jillian Michaels workout DVD. It's very berry satisfying. Magari in part because I feel like it's getting easier. And one marvelous truth that my mission president taught me is that we like doing things that we're good at. So if you don't like doing something, it's probably because you're not good at it. I think of a lot about things in my life like this. Well if I don't like it, I need to do it (stick with it) until I'm good at it and then doing it will be enjoyable. Mmm...isn't that great? I think about that a lot.



• I got a new calling--2nd counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. Honestly, I had no clue what that even meant. But from what I understand, it's going to be fabulous and the other ladies in the presidency are really cool so...win-win.



• I cut 6 inches of hair right off. I am a wee bit of a git because every time I cut my hair, I always miss it. haha Thanks to my pal Mindle, she recommended a vitamin and special shampoo that apparently makes your hair grow faster. Placebo effect? Don't mind if I do!



• I tried my usual spinach & banana smoothie with some blueberries today. Not a disappointment. I find it slightly humorous that breakfast cereal was honestly my go-to...every morning. Not like I'm judging people who have cereal for breakfast--cause I'm not. But for me, it was a good thing to branch out. And I don't even want it anymore. Who knew Popeye the sailor man was on to something?! Smart man that lad. Smart man.



• On Sunday, my roommate and I decided that we wanted to sing hymns together. She pulled out her guitar, and I pulled out my mandolin and we had a....religious jam session?? haha It was a good time.



• I went to the 4th Pirates of the Caribbean @ midnight o'clock. Why do I find Johnny Depp entirely fascinating?



• I'm working on reading "Standing for Something" by President Gordon B. Hinckley. He said something simple, probably not meaning to be profound, in the beginning of the book. Have a taste, "My life has been rich because it has been filled with problems to solve and associations to savor." Sometimes I read things like this and make audible "Mmm" sounds of satisfaction. I just completely agree.



• I cut myself shaving my legs the other morning and I felt like I was 13 years old again.



• I wear a ring on my ring finger on my left hand. It seems like people have been commenting on it more frequently. I find it slightly humorous because it's a fairly big flower-shaped ring that I bought in Mexico years ago. I just assume it's understood that it's obviously not an engagement ring but people ask me about it sometimes. Laughable. Apparently that finger cannot be adorned with anything but a diamond covered ring bestowed upon you by a male of your choice. Yeah, I just like wearing rings...even if they're ones that I've purchased for myself. :)



• My dentist told me that I have very small lips. He also thinks due to my extreme nighttime teeth grinding that I should go on a calming walk in the evening because he thinks I'm stressed. Since when do dentists make remarks about anything beside the presence or lack of cavities??



• My brother Cody and I hiked the Y on Saturday. I love hiking. It is one of the things that kept me sane when I first got home from my mission. I loved doing something physical and being able to clear my head in a beautiful place. It was nice to spend some time with my big bro. He has some pretty fierce strides. I felt like I took 2 steps to every 1 of his. haha He's great and it was fun to spend time with him. My darling Paris friend Stephanie had a beautiful baby--Natalie. It was really fun to sit and talk with Steph for a while. We had some hilarious good times in Europe and did many ridiculous things that we talk about to this day. I'm so happy for her that she's married to such a darling guy and they've made a beautiful little baby. Mission friend Breanna Hawkey had a bunch of us Italian missionaries over to her place. We always have so much fun together laughing and talking about those wonderful crazy italians that we'll never stop loving. In the pic below are Jamie, Layne, me, and Breanna. Jamie was my MTC companion. What a huge blessing it was to be companions with her. She has an incredible capacity to love. I had never experienced anything like it before I met her. The way she treats you, talks to you, interacts with you, even looks at you makes you feel her pure love for you. Feeling something like that has definitely made an impact on the way I interact with people and the way I hope they feel when they're around me. I still have a long way to go but I feel very blessed to have seen and experienced something so beautiful and Christlike in my dear friend and companion.



• Miss Layne is leaving for Italy this week to spend the summer there doing research for an Anthropology question. I am so excited for her to return to that beautiful country. What an incredible opportunity to learn more of the language, see a new part of the country, get to know more strangers who then become dear loved ones, and have a completely foreign experience that molds your character forever. She's going to do amazing and I'm so excited for her.