Thursday, June 2, 2011

Sent home, reading inspired goods, re-evaluating perspective

Sometimes my work sends me home early. I was scheduled for 5 hours on Tuesday...after an hour and half they sent me home. Today I was scheduled for 5 hours...after two and a half hours they sent me home. I feel like I should do something rowdy and unruly for them to have an actual reason for giving me the boot. Good news is that I have a job interview back in my home town on Monday. I'm hoping for good things because as flattering as a phone job that sends me home early is, it would sure be nice to feel valued somewhere but...maybe that's just me shooting for the stars. haha

I read two BEAUTIFUL talks today. I have to teach the lesson in Relief Society on Sunday. I really like teaching. I do, however, have a bit of a hard time when there is no assigned topic. Yeah, the whole "be inspired to teach exactly what everyone needs" can be a little overwhelming. haha But I feel like I'm on to something. If you need any good reads check these little numbers out "The True Path to Happiness" by Elder Cook and "What Are You Doing Here?" by Elder Groberg. I just love some right nice reflection from time to time.

Somehow in my unexpected free time after work, and after working out with Jillian via DVD, I found myself on a volunteer website dreaming of when I could possibly go to Tanzania and teach english there. I've noticed a problem that I have. I'm a dreamer. I haven't always been. But I am now. It's something that...I hope this doesn't sound awkward but...I love about myself--mostly just because I remember who I was without it. I love looking at the world, myself, and life with possibility. I didn't always do that. But I now have so many things that I'd love to do and accomplish. And helping those darling little kids in Africa are on my list of things that I fantasize about.
The problem with this quality, that has been really helpful for me, is that when I'm not in the midst of one of these big dreams of mine...I tend to feel frustrated and therefore tend to not live in the present. When I am in the midst of them, I am thankful to say that I enjoy every second and don't take them for granted--I know that each day is changing my life and I love it. However, I notice that when I'm not in one of these fabulous dreams of mine, that I live in my future dreams. How nice things will be when...
It's a tricky trap to fall into. So while I do have big dreams and look forward to a lot of future plans that I have, the reality is that...a lot of my previous plans didn't work out because God wanted me to do something different. So maybe I should put a little more effort into loving the crap out of the present. This is where I am today. And as long as I'm in this present situation, I need to find the good in it and do my best. If things change, great. That would be awesome. But if not, I'm still here, and I can still control my reactions to things life throws at me. I can absolutely keep planning and thinking of fabulous things that I want to do, but with the understanding that there are presently great things that I can do, that there are presently good times to be had, and that I can presently love every detail of my life.

Enough ramblings for the night. Laters!

1 comment:

  1. perfect. i always am on the search for good reading material. and for the record, thats one of the many things I love about you as well. I think it's so great that you notice that in yourself. way to be sorella. oh and, as always, this was just want i needed to hear.