Saturday, October 22, 2011

Males: Anti-parties and institute twists

So as you probably know, I think random, themed parties are always a good time. As you'll see from this post, they're not always the mature and dignified kind. haha Last semester, we uh...had a "man hating" party. Yes, we are 5 years old. My roommate and I had just been on some pretty terrible dates, we were feeling frustrated with the guys that we were interested in that weren't asking us out, and the guys we weren't interested in WERE asking us out...and weren't always on their best behavior during the date let's say. So we had ourselves a themed party.
It was all planned out. We made a big man cookie, made and decorated party hats...just making funny comments on them as a way of expressing our frustrations, and in closing we watched "John Tucker Must Die". haha Yes, this all happened and it was hilarious and satisfying.
haha I love Tinille. And she makes a good point. Why would we be all giddy and grinny at a party celebrating a gender that has been giving us nothing but stress?? haha
Whitney's party hat. haha I die laughing looking at all of these photos because...who does this?!? We do. And we laugh about it the whole time. Are we really full of rage and anger toward men? Not in the least. But yes, sometimes a ridiculous themed party is just what we needed to get through a string of bad male experiences.

So although I genuinely thought this evening was hilarious, I feel like I haven't posted it until now perhaps in part because there's more to be said. As a general rule, dating post-mission has been alright. Yes, as you know and have read, I've gone out with some...unique lads, but I hope I don't ever come across as a boy-basher. The guys I've dated since I've been home have been nothing but kind to me. I'm pretty protective of myself from some pre-mish experiences, and I can honestly be nothing but grateful to the guys that I've dated since the mission. They've been so kind to me, clearly cared for me, and treated me like I mattered. So yes, I jokingly complain about some of the awkward guy experiences I have, but I've been blessed to date some great guys who've seen me and treated me like a wonderful, worthwhile, beautiful lady. I do feel fortunate.

In my "Prep for Eternal Hitching" class this last week, we've been talking about the differences between males and females. There are a lot of quotes from general authorities that talk about how wonderful women are. We were reading general authority quotes and writing qualities that each gender has on the board according to what the quote said. There was a long list of beautiful qualities for women and under men it said, "Aggressive and competitive." haha I think there just aren't a lot of quotes when they point out male qualities...they just usually give those types of talks to women it seems. Well one of the guys in my class raised his hand and said, "I hope this doesn't sound bad but...I feel like we're always getting told that women are better than us. It just kind of makes me feel like less and wonder what good qualities I have." The teacher then asked us girls in the class to come up with some qualities that we could put on the board in the "men" category--qualities that men have that we're grateful for.

I sat there pondering what qualities I truly appreciate about men. It was kind of an interesting experience because it hadn't really crossed my mind before--thinking about what qualities males (in general) have, that I admire. Well I've thought about it, and wanted to write some down.

I love that they're genuinely willing to help and fix whatever is not going right in your life. Sometimes it's frustrating for me and for them because they can't actually fix it. But the fact that they care enough to ask and be there honestly means the world to me.

A lot of men in my life are dear friends. Men can make great friends. They're fun to be around, easy to talk to, and always have a new perspective or good advice.

I'm afraid I haven't always appreciated the priesthood to the extent that I do now. I am so thankful for worthy priesthood holders. The fact that they're willing to stay worthy and live good lives in order to obtain a gift that is only theirs for the purpose of serving others, is a beautiful, selfless quality. Through the priesthood, I have been healed, comforted, blessed, instructed, and reminded of the closeness of my Father in Heaven and His very personal relationship with and awareness of me. I admire men for being worthy to hold the priesthood and being kind and helpful about using it.

I can't quite find words for it, but I think about all of the men in my life and can only imagine how different of a human being I'd be without them. I've learned a lot from them. I respect them. I value their opinions and our friendship. They have definitely left an impact on me and who I am. I don't think men really understand how much of an influence they have on the world and the people around them. Yes, I absolutely believe that women and mothers have a massive impact (I can write a massive post on that another time). But I also think that men make contributions that they're unaware of...and that we (or at least I) forget how grateful I should be for.

I hope that guy in my institute class didn't walk away feeling unvalued and unimportant. I know his comment was a good opportunity for me to reflect on why I'm thankful for the men in my life. I probably should be better at letting them know. I hope they don't ever wonder, like the boy in my class, if they have value or if I value them. Because I do. I might occasionally have evenings when I feel frustrated because certain members of their sex aren't representing them well, but I think they're wonderful. Just thought you should know.

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