Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Sweaty, Puffy-eyed, Computer woes

Saturday. I can sleep in. No homework due the next day. It's my day.

Well, this last Saturday didn't really feel like it was my day. Allow me to explain:

Everything started off well. I had a meeting for a group project from 10-12 in the library.

Then went on a jog up the canyon with my friend Kori. It was nice. Completely obvious that I haven't jogged outside in a while though. Blasted treadmills. On the way back from our jog it started snowing a wee bit. It had been cold the whole jog but nothing unbearable.

We finished our jog. I came home. Checked my e-mail and was looking for pictures for my next blog (still not done with that one) when....virus. Yeah. A virus warning popped up on my screen which I was an idiot and clicked on because I got a virus a month ago and spent a pretty peso getting it repaired. I clicked on the "remove virus" button and according to the bloke's at Geek Squad, that was exactly what I wasn't supposed to do because the whole thing was apparently a hoax. Awesome.

So fun things start popping up in the corner of my computer like, "An identity theft attempt has just taken place" and things implying that it was trying to break into my bank account. Cue the unnecessary tears and speed dial for my mom. I cry to my mom for a bit (because that seems to make everything better right?) about my not positive feelings about this situation--identity theft, bank account being robbed...oh ya know, just hadn't been on my agenda for the day. I decide to take my laptop to Geek squad. They should be able to solve my problems right?

Keep in mind however that I'm hardly a lovely sight to behold. I hadn't showered yet from my jog so I'm nice and sweaty, red faced, and my eyes do this lovely thing when I cry where they swell up like "Hitch" when he eats fish or whatever it is he's allergic to. So I'm nice and red, sweaty, and splotchy. It's a good look for me.

Geek squad: I set my computer down, trying not to freak out or throw up tears all over them because I'm an emotional woman about the crazy things that could happen from this. Anywho, I asked the "geek" if these warnings were true and I was actually in danger of those things. (Mind you, I feel that I'm a pretty patient lass. I've worked customer service jobs so I understand the importance of being a kind customer and a helpful worker) However, this guy was rubbing me the wrong way entirely. While I'm completely frantic and wanting him to do something to my computer right away to stop all of these things from happening, he thinks the best approach to handling me is to talk excessively slow and confirm all of my greatest fears. Fabulous. " general...when these types of things happen....they do steal identities....and get money...from your bank account." Oooohhh my stars sir, this is exactly how I do NOT need you to be talking to me right now.

Meanwhile I'm starting to get chills down my spine. I'm reminded of my jog in the mountains this morning and am wondering if perhaps I'm starting to get sick. Achy. And...a hint of dizziness coming on. I continue to try to be patient with him though I really wish I was some version of Sydney Bristow and could just take him down for wasting my time in a situation of stress and get him to do what I want because I can physically dominate him. (Hmm...future p.e. class possibility) Alas, I am not that girl and try to be friendly and patient besides the fact that everything is starting to get fuzzy and I'm feeling a wee bit dizzy....and...come to think of it I might throw up.

It nearly broke my heart to have to interrupt his painfully slow explanations that provided nothing but further dread and frustration but I managed to focus my eyes on him and say, "Sir, I'm going to need you to get me a chair. I'm dizzy and need to sit down." He gets me a stool and I nearly asked for water but decided to let the socially awkward lad just continue to talk slow to me while it was easy for me to tune him out.

Finally we came to the "you fix it, I pay you" arrangement and I handed the stool back to him as I left.

Feeling red, achy, puffy, and now annoyed, I went home and decided to read a little bit in my Nicholas Sparks book. Ha. Not the best idea. The last time I closed the book it was out of sheer frustration that ol' Nick had allowed this darling couple to become a depressing love story by putting the woman in the couple in a coma. So here I am, looking completely ravaged, reading a story where completely darling man goes and talks to his wife in a coma every day and I lay on my bed shedding tears and restarting the splotchy, red, swollen eye cycle. Because of the book? Just complete self pity? Combination of the two? Unknown. But I find myself completely amused with the patheticness of the day and decided I needed to stop all of this because I felt ridiculous.

Step one. Take a shower. It was delicious in every way. So warm and made my yucky achy chills go away. I definitely didn't conserve water with that shower. Sorry.
Step two. Get out of the house. Go do something fun that doesn't involve crying over fictional characters or yourself. So I went to the USU basketball game with a friend from the MTC. We won and it was nice.
Step three. Go to church. I always do but I for some reason decided to go early. I went 10 minutes early so I could read the scriptures and just relax. It was lovely. I will definitely be making a habit out of it.

I write all of this down not as a pity party because really I'm completely fine. I just found the whole day completely hilarious. Even as everything was going on, even though I was bugged about a lot of it, in the back of my mind I was rolling my eyes and laughing because I realized how silly the situation was and how ridiculous I looked. It was one for the books. What oh what should I do this Saturday?


  1. Oh Mallory, you are getting so great at overcoming adversity. I still think you need some pepper spray. Maybe it would have woke the geek up. Glad your computer is fixed again and that you didn't faint. What about the food serving analogy? Is that next?

  2. haha. Your adventures are too good. I'm so happy I saw you today Mal! Thanks!!! I'll be sporting my awesome colorful tights to church tomorrow and I can hardly wait.